 |
| All Lee Van Cleef needed was a vitamin water. |
Hydration is very important, for DEHYDRATION creeps up on you swift as a fox. If I may digress for a moment, here is a poem I wrote in 4th grade. For the purpose of this post let us assume it is about the perils of dehydration and not the racism my tender 10 year old self was experiencing (thanks Nelson Place).
Coyote
Young Coyote wandered past my farm today.
I saw it.
I saw a pack of wolves emerge from the pines
Indeed I saw it.
The wolves like demons sent up from below teased and taunted the young one.
They despised the way she walked and the way her fur looked.
But a hunter crept up on them swift as a fox and took their lives in his hands.
He stripped them of their coverings
And inside they were the same.
I saw it.
So you see, dehydration is just as destructive as racism. I despise DEHYDRATION. Like racism, its effects are extremely deep and may go unnoticed for some time, ignored until one day you break down in fat tears. Or tiny little tears because you are too dehydrated to really cry. DEHYDRATION will really fuck you up. You will be in a horrible mood all day, and not know why, You might attribute this irritability to PMS, or to the fact that you just moved into a new apartment and have no money for food. You might even attribute it to the fact that you can't get past a certain point in Quest for Glory 3, but you will be wrong. Your sucky assholishness is due to DEHYDRATION. Drink 2 big glasses of water with a straw and see how quickly your grumpy pants fly off. In addition to causing you to hate everything and everyone and have an impending sense of doom, DEHYDRATION will give you headaches. You will want to nap all the time. You will want to eat nonstop because what you really want is water. You will also retain water so every part of your body is plumper than usual, especially under your eyes. Your lips will get chapped, and ladies, you will not function well sexually (nawimsayin??).
This is why hydration is very important.